06-10-2023
#25 Understanding Unresolved Grief with Ghulam Fernandes
In this podcast episode, we have Ghulam Fernandes, a Grief Specialist, sharing her
personal journey through grief and how it led her to help others dealing with
similar challenges.
Ghulam starts by sharing a personal story of her struggle with grief after her
mother's death. At that time, she didn't understand that grief could manifest
in various ways, including self-soothing behaviours. In her case, it was
comfort eating. For years, she battled with her weight and tried unsuccessfully
to manage her eating habits, all because she hadn't yet realized the purpose
behind these actions – a way to cover up the pain of loss.
As a teenager, Ghulam experienced hormonal changes alongside her grief, which
further complicated her situation. But it wasn't until she connected her weight
issues to unresolved grief that she began to find answers. Her journey through
loss was profound, including the deaths of her mother, brother, sister, and
father, as well as multiple miscarriages. These experiences, coupled with other
life stresses and strains, piled onto her emotional burden.
Ghulam reflects on how people often resort to various coping mechanisms to deal with
grief, such as binge-watching TV shows or seeking solace in fantasy worlds. She
mentions that while these activities can provide temporary relief, they don't
address the underlying pain and issues.
When it comes to seeking help for grief, Ghulam explains her approach. She offers a
free guide called "The Five Key Steps in Handling Your Grief"
and a discovery call to assess whether someone needs professional help. Finding
a values match between the client and the specialist is crucial. Her grief
program focuses on knowledge, tools, and processes for healing.
Regarding the duration of her program, Ghulam believes that around 12 weeks is optimal.
An extended program not only helps clients maintain their progress but also
provides ongoing support and accountability. She emphasizes the importance of
investing time, energy, and finances in the full program to equip clients for
lifelong coping.
Ghulam also touches on the significance of recognizing unresolved grief. Common signs
include regrets, guilt, and disappointment. She shares a personal story of how
she learned to communicate openly with her father before his death to avoid
regrets. Ghulam's "going from grief to gratitude" process aims to
help individuals address unresolved grief and improve their lives.
In conclusion, Ghulam Fernandes invites listeners to explore her website,
www.handling-grief.com, where they can find resources and guides on handling
grief. She expresses her commitment to helping individuals navigate their grief
journeys and ultimately find healing and growth.
Ghulam's website - Handling Grief
Facebook page - Grief Transformation Coach
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ghulam-fernandes-griefspecialist/
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