Join your favorite ex-Mormon misfits—Abish, Abigail, aaaAAAaaa, and Moroni—as they kick off another episode with their usual mix of humor, tangents, and irreverence. This time, they recount their hilariously makeshift eclipse viewing experience with cobbled-together sunglasses, somehow segueing into a heartfelt ode to the cinematic genius of Greta Gerwig.
The cocktail of the day, "J. B'love's Babyface Elixir," is a sparkling concoction of coconut rum, pineapple juice, and ginger ale, with a health-conscious twist of antioxidant-rich blueberries. Abish shares her love for a Cutwater White Russian and a passion fruit Mom Water, while lamenting the aging-related challenges of alcohol consumption. Abigail entertains with a tale of Moroni’s clandestine alcohol procurement from a military base. They dodge diving into a recent Jeffrey R. Holland controversy to avoid stress, and instead ponder the relative threat levels of pandas versus bears, wrapping up with their mutual disdain for Holland before a sponsor break.
Scriptures: [00:14:19]
Moroni takes the helm, hilariously skewering sections 7, 8, and 9 of the Doctrine and Covenants. He kicks off with Section 7, a supposed revelation about John the Beloved found on an enigmatic parchment, which he gleefully mocks for its dubious origins. Section 8, featuring Oliver Cowdery's translation ambitions and convoluted divine promises, provides more fodder for sarcasm. The saga continues with Section 9, where Oliver's translation gift is dramatically revoked, showcasing Joseph Smith’s manipulative tactics. The hosts blend irreverent commentary with sharp historical skepticism, turning scripture into satire.
Church Teachings: [00:43:03]
aaaAAAaaa delves into the enigmatic figure of John the Beloved and the church's teachings about him and the three Nephites allegedly roaming the earth until Jesus returns. Quoting scripture, aaaAAAaaa humorously speculates on John’s ambiguous identity and possible familial ties to Jesus. This leads to a cheeky discussion about a New Zealand preacher's theory suggesting a special, perhaps romantic, bond between Jesus and John. The hosts mix serious discussion with humor, exploring both traditional and controversial interpretations of John's role in Christianity, and reflect on organized religion versus personal spirituality.
History: [01:11:15]
Abigail brings history to life with a sardonic take on Lorenzo Snow’s peculiar journey. Born in Mantua Township, Ohio (not to be confused with Italy’s Mantua), Snow's path from Oberlin College to Mormon devotion—under the influence of his formidable sister Eliza Roxcy Snow—is laid bare. Abigail highlights Snow’s frequent illnesses, his polygamous marriages, and the tragic death of his wife Charlotte, all punctuated with humor and modern commentary. Snow’s mission-led absences, his numerous young wives, and the intertwined family dynamics are recounted with a blend of fact and wit.
The hosts recount Snow's perilous missions, including a near-drowning incident in Hawaii and his eventual arrest for polygamy. They humorously navigate his rise to church president, his financial reforms, and his efforts to secure church leadership succession. The overlooked contributions of Snow’s wives are finally acknowledged, emphasizing their significant yet unrecognized roles in church history. With humor and skepticism, the ho
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