Welcome to the Great and Spacious Podcast, where Abigail, aaaAAAaaa, and Moroni embark on a journey through the bizarre world of Mormonism with a side of snark and a generous pour of nihilism. In our tantalizing intro, our hosts dive into the "Enochian Dream" cocktail, a lavender-infused concoction that might just make you question reality. Lavender room spray or decomposing odors? You be the judge. Plus, ever heard of Zython? Neither had we, but it's got a past as murky as our Enochian Dream.
Scriptures: [00:08:57]
Get ready for a rollercoaster of disbelief in our Scriptures segment as Moroni unravels Ether chapters 11 through 15 from the Book of Mormon. Wars for seemingly trivial reasons, disappearing swords, and headless push-ups - because who needs a motivational war speech, right? But wait, there's more! Join the hosts in a laugh-out-loud exploration of potentially pornographic interpretations of the Book of Mormon events. It's like Sunday School, but with more imagination and irreverence.
Church Teachings: [00:41:44]
aaaAAAaaa takes the mic in our Church Teachings segment, confusing Zion in Jackson County, Missouri with Zion National Park. Easy mistake, right? The hosts share their humorous take on the church's beliefs about Zion and the New Jerusalem, from geographical blunders to the evolving concept of unity, godliness, and charity. Spoiler alert: Zion might be wherever the Saints gather, but make sure it's not a national park.
History: [00:54:30]
In our History segment, Abigail unfolds the epic saga of the Temple Lot in Independence, Missouri. Failed missions, legal disputes, angelic interventions, and Monty Python-esque calamities - it's the gift that keeps on giving. Discover the Temple Lot Church's optimistic attempts to build a temple, only to face fires, legal battles, and the inevitable Monty Python comparisons. Ever wondered about Jesus showing up at a lean-to? It's just another day in the Temple Lot Church.
Hold onto your hats as the hosts dive into the vast land holdings of the LDS Church. From armories to skyscrapers, cattle ranches, and even McDonald's burgers, it turns out the church is quite the real estate mogul. But hush-hush, as they discuss the secretive financial activities, shell companies, and a mere $5 million SEC fine – a small price to pay for undisclosed billions. With a touch of concern for local communities and a generous sprinkle of sarcasm, the hosts unravel the jaw-dropping, mind-bending, and wallet-stretching world of the Mormon Church's wealth. Cheers to Mormon beef and the mysteries of Zion!
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