This station meets mandatory compliance statutes. All programming has been approved. The airwaves are property of the official bodies. Please do not hesitate to contact us in order to request your favorite song.

Our station-branded pocket combs are back in stock. Your messy hair solution has arrived.

Our signal is no longer jammed in Antarctica thanks to an agreement made with the Secret Antarctic Council for Governance.

Information is free but not necessary.

The opinions expressed on this program do not necessarily reflect the views of the staff of Remote Station Seven. A reminder: Remote Station Seven does not exist. It has no staff. It has no views.

Currently seeking a licensed tube rectifier. No benefits, plenty of overtime, love of isolation a must.

Please call for more information.

Point of the journey is the point.

Weather reports are no longer offered by this station. We believe in free will.

Unauthorized personal phone call made by employee during official broadcast hours. The appropriate authorities were consulted and the employee has been dealt with in an appropriate manner. We take these issues seriously.

Sometimes you hear things that you don't actually hear and other times you don't hear the things you need to. And then there are the times in between.

Important information contained within. Please respond with confirmatory notations. Code configuration Beta Zeta Floofel Suitcase Alpha.

Is it only ever garbled? Are there no clear messages?

All will be revealed to those who are listening carefully.

There are things you don't see, you only hear them.