He stood there, his mustache resplendent, his red hot member waving madly in the air.  And then somebody shot him.  It was fucked. Topics include: vitamin C dreams; deli adventures; the resurgence of DVD players; steroid use; Deadwood; having a cool jean jacket; cashing that paycheck;  #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #vitaminc #dvdplayer #steroids #deadwood #nickofferman #jeanjackets #paycheck #IRONREAGAN #AllTheSaints #ProfessorElemental #AldoNova Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

Due to a serious equipment failure, the podcast will be on break for awhile.  I'll be posting updates whenever possible.

This episode originally featured an argument which wasn't funny enough to keep.  There are undercurrents of it throughout the episode, see if you can guess what it was about! Topics include: Dr. Pimple Popper; Gilbert Gottfried's real voice (legitimate source); huggist; somebody farts on Mike for a change; a lotta work for not a lotta meat; choking on fish bones; the Five Nights at Freddy's movie; Tom's comedy rage; what does 'woke' mean?; Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations; Mike explains embroidery; Big Nose George #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #drpimplepopper #gilbertgottfried #fivenightsatfreddys #embroidery #bignosegeorge #ChicksOnSpeed #AlienWeaponry Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

We completely lose our shit and start talking about anally inserted butts. Listen to Mike and Brandon's new podcast, Milkin' It, here: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/57417524  Topics include: Mike is accosted my Laura Engels era maidens at a Les Claypool show; cheesesteak/cheese stick/cheese snake/cheesedick; Milkin' It; the proper pronunciation of "tour"; Jeffery; birds with boobie names; grocery store hijinks; chugging honey; Don't be a bird, bro, or you'll have a short life; You scream, I scream; butt docking; school fundraising; radioactive Chinese food;  #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #MichaelStipe #NatalieMerchant #EddieCochran #AtTheDriveIn #birds #iwalkedbobdylanonstage #schoolfundraising Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

Mike relentlessly farts his way through life and refuses to apologize for it any longer.  Meanwhile, Tom wants to do away with the need to dispose of bodily waste. Topics include: Ten Years After; Static-X; Tom takes his nephew to his first show; going back to the gym; New Game Plus IRL; pork at work; Yuengling Lager is overrated; sports fans; A Nightmare Before Christmas; Jared Fogel; what if Chris Hansen turned out to be a predator?; Mad Magazine paperbacks; magazines #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #TenYearsAfter #StaticX #gym #NewGamePlus #YuenglingLager #sportsfans #NightmareBeforeChristmas #JaredFogel #ChrisHansen #MadMagazine #magazines Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

We tried.  We really did.  But we just can't keep on topic long enough to be properly SpOoKy! We would like to dedicate this episode to the memory of Rodrigo Moro.  Rest in Peace, buddy. Topics include: is gore considered horror?; trick or treating in the 80s versus today; mental health meals; once you become a ghost, you gotta answer to other ghosts for shit they saw you do; grow your own tobacco; the closet of no return; House of Leaves; dreams in the witch apartment; dreams; drawing boobs in school; church; we didn't do an improv; Giant Antarctic Cryptid Spiders; Artie Shaw; Memotone; Fallout lore and the Demon Core #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #Halloween #trickortreat #ghosts #tobacco #creepycloset #HouseOfLeaves #witch #dreams #church #AntarcticCryptid Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  Spooky Ride by Twin Musicom is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/  Source: http://www.twinmusicom.org/song/250/spooky-ride  Artist: http://www.twinmusicom.org  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

Who knew the Amish were such a rich vein of comedy? Topics include: Trivium; Taylor Swift; Tom's resolution: more rock tees, tats, and shows; Beeker is a huge pervert; fantostomy bag; Are Tacos Sandwiches? - An Improv Sketch; cereal + milk = soup?; a definition for Walking Taco; The Amish Dick Punch #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #Trivium #TaylorSwift #rockshows #rocktees #tattoos #tacos #AreTacosSandwiches #Amish Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

After two wholesome episodes in a row, I guess we needed to get some of the nasty out, because right out of the gate we're like 120 miles an hour with the toilet humor. You love it. Topics include: piss reduction; poop schedules; McDonalds; working at Hardee's; Boris (an improv game); The Hu; Death From Above 1979; guitars; Halloween decorations; EMP gun; No Pants Dance Off #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #poop #pooping #McDonalds #Hardees #BorisImprov #TheHu #DeathFromAbove1979 #guitars #HalloweenDecorations #NoPantsDanceOff Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

In this super-long travelogue, Tom's nephew tells of his visit to Japan.  It's a tale of daring, adventure, and an astonishing lack of self-preservation. #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #Japan #travel #travelogue #exploration #comingofage #JohnHughes Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

Something is off, here, Mike... did you get a haircut or something? Topics include: Steve Harvey; the Wheel of Fortune PS4 game; RIP Bob Barker; Starfield; Baldur's Gate 3; concerts; Suicidal Tendencies; Danzig is a terrible homeowner; sleep studies; car salesmen; who would win in a fight, Tom or Mike? #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #SteveHarvey #WheelofFortune #BobBarker #Starfield #BaldursGate3 #BG3 #concerts #Suicidal Tendencies #DanzigHomeowner #sleepstudy #carsalemen Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

It's not what you're thinking.  Probably. Topics include: repulsively sweet tea; boiled peanuts; Tom introduces his niece to D&D; comics; shitty celebrities; hot weather; Tom's Army days; too much sugar; more Army stuff; Dave Matthews; weed shits?; superheroes; Tom's cat Simon is also a soda douche #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #sweettea #boiledpeanuts #D&D #comics #DaveMatthews #Armystories Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

Collecting episodes 64 through 67. Bits and segments included: That's just God testing you; if it's in the bible, it must be true; stealth jerkin'; Down on Mike's farm; Tom is a farm expert; don't wizz on the electric fence; exploding hot dogs; human adaptability; St. Peter's favorite part of the job; Mrs. Cunty; healthy boundaries; the dangers of being a tree; Slendamin; first world toilets; Honkin' on Steve-o; desperately self-important; dental dam(age); basic mascot anatomy; danger slinky; what'cha gonna do?; Seth Grundle; We Didn't Start the Fire; get rich quicks cheme; what are Willy Allen?; good old-fashioned values; who doesn't enjoy someone being flung through the air? #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #bestof Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

Would YOU subscribe to a Tom & Mike Onlyfans? Topics include: Tom talks about his new living situation; we bemoan Brandon's schedule; Mike's mystery floor; Pete Davidson; medical marijuana; unintentional edging; firing dildos at Donald Trump; Douglas Adams; politics; let people enjoy things; Alex Skolnick Trio; mac glocky; a Tom & Mike Onlyfans? #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #homerepair #PeteDavidson #medicalmarijuana #mmj #edging #DonaldTrump #politics #letpeopleenjoythings #AlexSkolnickTrio #macglocky #Onlyfans Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

Leroy plays with a variety of suspiciously-named objects and insults Juggalos.  In jest of course.  We're down with the clown here at Story Time with Tom & Mike - whoop whoop! Topics include: Leroy plays with wood, pipe, and nipples; streaming media woes; Paul Ruebens; They Might Be Giants; Juggalos; Star Wars; Brojob; I'm Just Ken; Eddy Baker; Tom's rap; Academy Awards; hocus pocus, there's pizza on your Focus;  #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #DIYshelving #BluRayCollection #streamingmedia #PaulRuebens #TheyMightBeGiants #Juggalos #StarWars #Brojob #ImJustKen #EddyBaker #AcademyAwards Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

Mike has never played D&D before.  As a veteran DM, Tom guides Mike through a thrilling adventure in the fantastical land of Hobbleton.  Join us as we meet strange people, fight stranger creatures, and explore bizarre locations! This is part one of what will likely be an ongoing, episodic series, to be released every 4 - 6 weeks! #dnd​​​​​​​ #dungeonsanddragons​​​​​​​ #d&d​​​​​​​ #actualplay #ttrpg #rpg #tabletop #roleplaying #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast Music and sound effects sourced from Tabletop Audio: https://tabletopaudio.com  Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

What the devil is going on here?!?  Tom is Mike?  Mike is Tom?  And what's this, a live action cooking show?  Why, it could only be the 200th episode special! There'll be classic stories retold, new stories of stuff that never happened, gross over-exaggerations, and a whole slew of special appearances from friends of the show! This one's for all the fans that have stuck with us for the last three and a half years - we love you all! #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #recipe #stromboli #buffalochicken #roast #bodyswap #200episodes #bestfriends #forthefans #gnarkill #skeletorbeastman #austriandeathmachine Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  Look Busy by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0  Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100172  Artist: http://incompetech.com  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

Mike fucks around and finds out. Topics include: Brandon has never seen an episode of Gilligan's Island; a truly lost tourist; we somehow conflate the following people as some sort of ultraperson: Jackie Collins, Jackie Moon, Jackie Robinson, Robert Patterson, Robert Pattison, Robert Patrick, and Richard Patrick; more tour bus stories; Real Dolls and other forms of masturbation; Tom's annoying neighbor; Bradley Hall; MeWithoutYou; Patrick Martin; Bob's Your Uncle;  #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #giligansisland #tourism #RealDoll #BradleyHall #MeWithoutYou #PatrickMartin #MikePatton #BillyCorgan #phrasemeanings #wordmeanings Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

Tony has some ideas for a new podcast to pitch to Tom and Mike. Topics include: DIY layaway; sorting Nine Inch Nails albums by Halo order; the outrageous cost of vinyl; young actors and old veterans; new podcast ideas; talking on the phone in a public bathroom; egg salad as a gentle enemy; intentionally leaving trash at somebody's house for them to find later; AC/DC; †††; Drowning Pool; Kim Jong Un does not poop; the Proto-Karen; ignorant questions about Australia #podcast #funny #comedypodcast #nineinchnails #vinyl #youthacting #disabledveteran #podcastideas #disgustinghabits #rudehouseguests #acdc #††† #drowningpool #KimJongUn #australia Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

Still better than rotting pieces of ham used as currency! Topics include: King Lazy Eye; Cobra Man; Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band; World's Worst (an improv game) #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #KingLazyEye #CobraMan #ReverendPeyton #WorldsWorst #improv #standup Tom's Twitter: https://twitter.com/StoryTimeTom1  Mike's Twitter:  https://twitter.com/StoryTimeMike1  Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike

From the dark recesses of 1980s television to our AI overlords, things get a little serious in this episode. Topics include: body odor; mosquitoes; Drakkar Noir; showering daily; childhood trauma; dark episodes of 1980s family sitcoms; The Algorithm; the singularity; Monsters of the Week include McDonalds, Congress, SCOTUS, and rude shoppers; King Ladybug  #podcast #funny #comedy #comedypodcast #hygiene #patchouli #DrakkarNoir #ChildhoodTrauma #ValeriesFamily #Algorithm #singularity #McDonalds #congress #SCOTUS #stalker Tom's Twitter: https://twitter.com/StoryTimeTom1  Mike's Twitter:  https://twitter.com/StoryTimeMike1  Cartoon avatars of Tom & Mike created by Gary Bacon: https://twitter.com/pixelbud  ***************************************************** VISIT OUR OFFICIAL SITE! https://www.tomandmike.com  ***************************************************** Check out our let's play channel, Gaming with Tom & Mike: https://www.youtube.com/@gamingwithtommike