The Sexual Voice

Over the course of the 16 weeks, The Sexual Voice has attempted to answer this question. Listen in to this final episode and learn what we've come up with.

Do you want to find out what the optimal sexual experience is about? Interested in learning how to attain your full erotic potential, then tune in and listen as Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz shares her perspective and clinical research on optimal erotic intimacy. She takes a hard line look at sex therapy and sees it too focused on the cure for dysfunction, stopping too soon and settling for too little. Kleinplatz challenges the profession and clients not to settle on just tolerable sex, instead achieve the heights of optimal erotic intimacy. Let's find out does a 20 year old see erotic intimacy different than a 65 year old? Is gender a factor? How does erotic intimacy change across the life cycle? Is erotic intimacy more than just sex? Well, there’s a lot of questions. Join us...Dr. Kleinplatz has the answers.

At the beginning of your relationship he couldn’t keep his hand off of you and you felt the same way. A few years, children and various life events later there is a shift and he no longer comes to bed until after you are asleep. He moves away when you touch him. When you do have sex it is good just not too connected. You try and talk to him…you hear everything is fine. You argue with him always wanted to hang out with his friends instead of doing things with you. The strain and tension in the relationship boils over into your daily lives and you find you can’t agree on anything. What’s going on you wonder and you seek help, asking the therapist is he gay. Two amazing guests, Dr. Emily Nagoski, a sex educator and Dr. Joe Kort, a sex therapist join the show to discuss when sexual desire changes…how to understand it and learn to what to do.

This episode will explore consensual sex – how is it defined and what it means when it is violated. Joining this discussion is a leader in the sex therapy profession around the topic of BDSM, Dr. Neil Cannon. For those with a BDSM orientation, safe practice protocols are an intricate part of sexual activity. We will discuss how their sexual voice is listened to and heard and ask, is this always the case for those with other orientations?

This week’s episode on sexual abuse and trauma is one of the most challenging. Fortunately, two of the leading sex therapists whose work is in sexual trauma join the discussion of moving from victim to sexual abuse survivor. We will focus on reclaiming your sexual voice and sexuality when it was stolen. The statistical facts below speak for themselves regarding sexual abuse for children under 18 years and for adults in the military. Listen in and learn more about reclaiming a healthier sexual life. Current facts from RAINN -Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network- is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization: One in 9 girls and 1 in 53 boys under the age of 18 experience sexual abuse or assault at the hands of an adult. In 2015 RAND Corp determined approximately 20,300 of the U.S. military's 1.3 million active-component service members - 4.9 percent of women and 1 percent of men were sexually assaulted in the past year.

When we think of our sexual voice, is it influenced by our race, culture or gender? Agustín Fuentes, a Professor of Anthropology at Notre Dame wrote, 'There is no neurological or physiological patterning that distinguishes races from one another. As for gender – our biology has extensive similarities as well. Our hormone systems function the same ways and with the same hormones. There are no 'male' or 'female' hormones, but there is important variation in hormone levels and patterns. Our brains are the same. There are no reliably and repeatedly demonstrated morphology brain differences between the sexes'. So, why do we see each other with such differences? Society controls and shapes our sexuality and our view on gender and race. With the creation of myths, fears and from a vantage point of privilege, society and culture determines how we think about ourselves and others. Join us for this discussion to change the lens on how we see each other and appreciate our shared sexuality.

Understanding the ebb and flow of sex and desire is challenging to most individuals in relationships. Fueled by self-doubt or what seems as confusing messages, people often blame themselves when a partner appears distant or withdrawn. The feelings of insecurities prompt questions like, 'are you okay', 'have I done something wrong' or even more fearful questions like 'is there someone else' or 'do you still love me'. When physical touch, intimate desire and sex ebbs in a relationship the partner experiences abandonment and loss unless there are significant reasons like medical issues or other factors. Many times the ebb and flow is simply a natural process of growth and change in the relationship, understanding and accepting this is the challenge. All of this speaks to the significance of physical touch and its ability to reassure, comfort and maintain an intimate relationship. Join us as we discuss our basic human need for physical connection and what is like when it isn’t there.

The mindful approach is about listening without judgement to our innate wisdom of the body and mind connection through cultivating awareness, recognizing lifelong physical and mental patterns and teaching techniques and practices which expand mind-body integration. The need for mind and body connectedness in sex has prompted some new liaisons. Lori Brotto is encouraging women to bring Buddha into bed with them. 'We know a desynchrony exists where the genitals are doing one thing and the mind another, and this has a bearing on sexual response. So if we can teach women to bridge the gap between mind and body' by cultivating mindfulness, she says, 'we should be able to improve that response.' Men and women can relearn to appreciate their body and its capacity for sensual pleasure.

This episode takes a look at Internet hook ups, dating, texting-sexting and porn. Our discussion takes into consideration the challenges with technology and our genetic hardwiring's of sensory perceptions - sight, smell, touch, sound and taste. The question is, does technology limit the full human connection experience? Will technology change, alter-inhibit or possibly enhance intimate connections and our forming stable physical and emotional relationships? Where is my emotional and sexual voice in this? Listen in and find out what we discover.

Barry McCarthy's work spans the life cycle and there is no one more knowledgeable and qualified to discuss sexual desire and the experiences individuals face throughout their sexual lives then Dr. McCarthy. From the beginning with 'Getting it right the first time' to 'Coping with Erectile Dysfunction and Premature Ejaculation' and then 'Therapy with Men over 60', he covers it all. From the first time we have sex to how it may look in our 80s, sex, desire and intimacy through the life cycle will change. The key is to understand the changes and keep open the lines of communication with whomever you are partnered with. If you are 16 or 85 years old, interested in sex, having it or talking about it, no matter if you are male or female or your orientation then this is the show for you.

Orientation – who we are romantically and-or sexually attracted to or not. The concepts of sexual orientation are now more inclusive than ever before. There is pansexual, asexual, bi-sexual, transgender and Kink-BDSM and even pedophilia are being considered orientations. Our orientation defines our relationships and our basic sexual identity. Dr. Meg-John Barker expands the lens of sex therapy to see how we engage in non-monogamous relationships. Their work as a relationship anarchist is compelling. They have particular expertise around bisexuality, openly non-monogamous relationships, Kink-BDSM and non-binary gender. Looking Back - what words, phrases and images have helped you learn to express your sexual voice and identify you basic sexual needs. Stay tuned as we take a look back at what we shared with you over the past 4 great shows.

What physical difficulties get in the way of us having sex? It can be pelvic sexual pain for women and at times for men. In men it can be an erection issue - either - not hard or hard enough, orgasm is too quick or too slow. When these issues get in the way of our “sexual basic need” what is it like for us, our partner and the relationship. Join our show to hear from Dr. Caroline Pukall from Ontario Canada and Dr. Stanley Althof in Florida. Both are are sex therapists, educators, researchers and authors. Listen to learn more and hear a client’s journey from where’s the sex to finding the sex.

Do you want to find out what the optimal sexual experience is about? Interested in learning how to attain your full erotic potential, then tune in and listen as Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz shares her perspective and clinical research on optimal erotic intimacy. She takes a hard line look at sex therapy and sees it too focused on the cure for dysfunction, stopping too soon and settling for too little. Kleinplatz challenges the profession and clients not to settle on just tolerable sex, instead achieve the heights of optimal erotic intimacy. Let's find out does a 20 year old see erotic intimacy different than a 65 year old? Is gender a factor? How does erotic intimacy change across the life cycle? Is erotic intimacy more than just sex? Well, there’s a lot of questions. Join us...Dr. Kleinplatz has the answers.

It is an honor to have Gina Ogden as a guest. She is an award winning author and is a self-proclaimed 'Recovering Therapist'. Along her 40 year journey she creatively broadened her perspective and inquiry into our sexuality. Moving beyond clinical sessions, she developed an international collaboration of practitioners whose mission is to expand the practice of therapy and sex therapy beyond performance goals and behavioral treatments. It is this body of work we will discuss as we consider the benefits of sex therapy and how the use of her 4-Dimensional wheel can unblock sexual energy and promote positive growth and expand our knowledge of human sexuality – Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual. We will compare the research from her first book 'Women Who Love Sex' published in 1999 to the present.

The journey begins today with this first show to help you discover and connect with your sexual voice. Just what role does our brain play in how we see, connect and feel about our sexual self? Our engaging and dynamic speaker neurologist, Dr. Jim Pfaus will take us into the inter working of the brain and the neurological forces around sex. His research looks at determining how monogamy and promiscuity are inherent in the brains of every species. 'It’s just your ecological niche that determines it.' His work on mapping where pheromones and sexually conditioned neutral odors are received in the brain points to how our first sexual experience may be a guiding force in our future sexual experiences. Dr. Pfaus’s research is guiding future pharmaceutical decisions to help women who struggle with and want to improve a low libido. As we begin, we will attempt to answer the questions, is sex a basic human need and how nature and nurture may determine sexual needs and desires?