The Roadmap to a Lasting Relationship: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Reading Recap: Book Summaries

19-02-2024 • 10 mins

What are the The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work



  1. Enhance your love maps: Understanding your partner's inner world.

  2. Nurture fondness and admiration: Appreciating and showing admiration for your partner.

  3. Turn toward each other instead of away: Showing interest and being responsive to your partner's bids for connection.

  4. Let your partner influence you: Being open to compromise and considering your partner's perspective.

  5. Solve solvable problems: Discussing and finding solutions for issues that are causing tension in the relationship.

  6. Overcome gridlock: Addressing deeply entrenched issues through understanding and empathy.

  7. Create shared meaning: Building a shared vision and purpose for the relationship.


Why is The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work book worth reading


The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is worth reading for several reasons:

  1. Based on research: The book is based on over four decades of research conducted by Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and relationship expert. The principles outlined in the book are grounded in scientific evidence and have been proven to be effective in helping couples build and maintain healthy relationships.

  2. Practical advice: The book offers practical tips and strategies that couples can implement in their daily lives to strengthen their relationship. Dr. Gottman provides exercises, questionnaires, and examples to help readers apply the principles in their own marriages.

  3. Easy to understand: The book is written in a clear and accessible manner, making it easy for readers to grasp the concepts and ideas presented. Dr. Gottman uses real-life examples and anecdotes to illustrate key points, making the content relatable and engaging.

  4. Positive approach: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work takes a positive and empowering approach to marriage, focusing on building friendship, emotional connection, and trust between partners. The book emphasizes the importance of communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy in creating a strong and lasting relationship.


Overall, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is a valuable resource for couples looking to improve their relationship and enhance their connection with each other. It offers practical guidance, evidence-based advice, and a positive outlook on marriage that can benefit couples at any stage of their relationship.

What can we learn from The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work book


The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work book by John Gottman and Nan Silver provides valuable insights into building and maintaining a healthy and successful marriage. Some of the key lessons that can be learned from this book include:

  1. The importance of emotional intelligence in relationships: The book emphasizes the role of emotional intelligence in successful marriages, highlighting the importance of self-awareness, empathy, and effective communication in resolving conflicts and strengthening emotional connections.

  2. The significance of positive communication: The book outlines the importance of positive communication patterns, such as expressing appreciation, showing affection, and actively listening to your partner, in fostering a strong and healthy relationship.

  3. The impact of conflict resolution strategies: The book discusses the different approaches to managing conflicts in relationships, including constructive communication, compromise, and problem-solving techniques, to help couples navigate disagreements and overcome challenges.

  4. The value of building trust and intimacy: The book emphasizes the importance of building trust and intimacy in a marriage by creating shared experiences, maintaining emotional and physical closeness, and nurturing a sense of connection and partnership.

  5. The role of shared values and goals: The book highlights the significance of shared values, goals, and aspirations in building a strong foundation for a successful marriage, encouraging couples to align their beliefs and priorities to support each other's growth and well-being.


Overall, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work book provides practical guidance and tools for couples to strengthen their relationship, enhance their emotional bond, and create a fulfilling and lasting partnership.


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